I don't believe the bible is infallible or clear. I believe that my belief in this statement has no bearing on what is actually true or false.
Angry resentful writing was never what I did before but this is me banging out because something I used to love has now being ordered and expected and now Im really pissed off and overthinking because I know that I have an audience and most of my daily life is a series of decisions that I feel shameful about. I've just...come off(?) of a two month binge on fantasy and erotic writing, a period of time is which had cut closer to my sexual expression than ever before. Most of the time I despair of ever making heads or tails of my adoption and my sexuality both inside my body theres just a terrible clash between free-form and rules.
How I long for stability and constant rhythm of Orthodox and how I fear the intense up and down rev up of charismatic, and how the very book that Im trying to work out for myself tells me that I cannot trust my own judgement.
